It’s been a long time since I last wrote in this blog. The thought of scrapping it passed through my mind, but everyone I know encouraged me to continue with it even though they would probably know that I’m only rambling nonsense here haha.
I don’t think it’s good enough for me to make school as an excuse now. Even though in several of my previous posts I ‘persisted’ that schoolworks and exams held me back from doing what I ought to do as a mean of my escapade from reality. Even though I know that this blog would not be particularly attractive to most people and probably only a small amount of those of you out there who would be able to relate to all the stuff that I post.
The transition from IGCSE to A-Levels… it’s amazing.
Not because of the decreasing amount of subjects I’m focusing on right now (in A-Levels you get to do four subjects in your first year, then drop one in the second year), but the mentality, the value judgement that I hold for myself. I suppose I have always considered myself as an underdog in IGCSE.
The ‘fact’ that I was an underdog, it poked my confidence to no end. I kept on telling myself that I’m not good enough for this school, not good enough for England, to the point where I could just completely shut myself from the rest of the crowd. Subsequently weekends were spent staying in my accommodation all the time. I guess I became sort of anthrophobic…?
Socialising is good, but having too many companies around me is overwhelming. I found comfort with my laptop (I’m always with it, this is why school is a no good excuse not to write at all), books, and well… one or two people that I really trust most.
Sorry by the way, for those of you who have been shoved away with my thorns. Whether I did it deliberately or not, I’m still sorry.
Now, curtain call. A new Me has her chin up towards what lies ahead.